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Have you ever thought, "I couldn't imagine" and then change your tune on something else?

That's what happened to me today. If you've been playing along for awhile, you'll know that I have gut stomach issues that have been quite annoying. I've had tests, tests, and more tests. Today was the culmination of all those previous tests. I had my first and god willing, last, CT scan. If you've never had one, it sucks. You fast for 6-8 hours and then 2 hours before the actual scan, have to drink a very lovely concoction that tastes like metal, called a contrast liquid at 15 minute increments. Its 2 litres. So about a cup every 15 minutes. Gross. You burp metal, yes it's that disgusting. Then its time for the actual scan. Keep in mind now you've been without any food for 8-10 hours. They hook you up to an IV after you lay down flat on your back on the CT bed. This IV has a contrast material that is super concentrated. You wait. And wait. Then they say to breathe in. You do it. Lights are whirling around. A feeling like you are floating starts. You can't decide if you are actually moving or if its a headgame. You breathe out. Then the tech says they are going to release the contrast. The burning starts. You feel the contrast start in your arm, then a huge burning feeling starts in the back of your throat, then because that's not disgusting enough, a feeling of urination happens. Awesome. All of a sudden you feel like your legs are on fire. Not a word of a lie. I am a somewhat not crazy chick * somewhat but probably more than not lol *who actually had to check through the CT scan to see if my legs were on fire. I felt like I was going to incinerate. Not fun. I felt a radioactive material course through my veins and I DIDN'T have cancer.

My dad had 18 CT scans through his 2 boughts of cancer. He had that feeling 18 times. He had to go without food for 18 visits. And that is just the CT scans. How many other times did he have to fast, not drink fluids, drink gross fluids, provide his body with drugs that in many cases are worse than the actual disease. I am a healthy 32 year old chick who has meat on her bones, has most of her wits about her and the CT scan freaked me out. I was starving, tired, scare to find out what they would find, thought I was on fire, felt like I had peed my pants and I now have a wicked taste of metal when I burp (and believe me that's a lot). And I didn't have cancer. Or so I believe at this moment.

So again if you've been playing along, you know that I was super duper excited about raising $8050 towards all three events. The Underwear affair, the Ride to Conquer cancer and the Weekend to End Woman's Cancer. Last week I called it quits. I couldn't fundraise another minute. I was very proud of what I have achieved, I still am because $8050 towards cancer research is HUGE. And although my goal was to walk for 2 days in the Weekend to End Breast Cancer, I was satisfied with achieving the $1250 needed to walk in the one day event. But not anymore. The one thing I kept thinking about while having a CT scan for my abdomen was I couldn't imagine being dad and having these stupid things every 3 months for the first time around and up to every month at the end. And at the end, my dad didn't have his wits about him. Even though the sensation must have been familiar it must have been as scary as all get out when the fire hit. Or when the spinning started. Or the absolute famishment - he didn't have meat on his bones to sustain a 10 hour without food stint. That would have sucked.

So now I'm asking for your help. Some have said I have inspired them to get active. Some of you are amazed at my fortitude. Some are just proud of me. So I'm asking for your help. I need $650 to walk 2 days in the Weekend to End Woman's Cancer . Pass my message onto your friends and family. I need your help. All money raised will help make cancer history! Or at least give your friends and family the fighting chance if god forbid this disease touches someone you love. I need you. So please read through my blog. Read about my dad, read about my training, read about my craziness. And donate. Ask your family and friends to donate.

Thanks!