Whole.

It has been a long hard road. It has been filled with twists, turns, upside downs and rightside ups. It has been filled with tears, and grief. Laughter and sadness. It has been a long 3 years. If you know me, I mean know me, you know that I have been dealing with lots of stuff. Depression, anxiety, grief for 3 years. That's a long time to feel unwell.

It started with my youngest being born. Something snapped in my head. I wasn't me anymore. I was me, but not me. I was sad. I had moments of happiness that helped with the sadness, but for the most part I was just sad. Then when I "snapped" out of PPD, my dad and our family recieved the devastating news that he had terminal cancer. Right back to depression. Crappy times. Then again, happy and sad mixed together. Yesterday November 8th, was the 8month 'deathverisary' of dad dying. Its funny that yesterday, the 8th of November was a huge turning point for me.

I still miss my Daddy so much but today, I feel whole again. I feel whole. I feel happy. I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel, is just that LIGHT. It isn't a train, it isn't a massive blip. It is LIGHT. And I love the light.

So for those of you who are dealing with similar issues, I just want to say it does get easier. It will click. Life will be happy again.

Life is good. I am Jennifer, and I am WHOLE! I am me again. I like me again.

4 comments:

Crazee Juls said...

:) You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing part of yourself-- it gives me such hope.

Judy T said...

I'm so happy for you. I'm glad that you've returned to the light. The darkness is such a horrible place to be (been there- done that). Welcome back.
Judy

FindingAnge said...

What a wonderful point to come to in your journey! You are right, it does get better, and will continue to get better.

Melanie said...

Thanks Jen, you are pretty amazing, I wish I had known Jen before, so that I could be there to be a strength, or quiet support like you have been to me in recent events.

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