Why can't I get "over" this? Seriously, why can I not look at picture of my dad and NOT cry.
I find it amazing that one person can shape my life so much and I never knew it. He was and is my dad. He's the guy that I still want to call. He's the guy I want to say "guess what dad?!" I've done the emotions. I've been extremely pissed off with god. I've been angry with people. I've been angry with dad for dying. I'm not anymore, or at least not regularly.
But why can't I just get over it? Can you get over it? I look around me and know that we are lucky. I am lucky. I have a wonderful family, great kids, a great husband, a home, my kids aren't sick. But I feel like a great big hole is in my heart. And it sucks. It sucks the big one.
We know that dad is with us, as Saturday was a prime example of this fact. We are renovating our basement. Sal and I were putting two doors in. We had a lot of problems. And if I never put in another door it will be too early, but ... we actually heard Dad say, not like that, here give it to me. lol don't do that. Try this way. It was freaky but pretty comforting. And we got both doors in and they open and shut lol
18 hours ago