So here it is Monday. I've done my "day off" that has been allotted to me for the week. And now I have two sick children and a sick hubby. So the part of me that wants to go to the gym is being pushed down by the fact that if I leave who will put the kids to bed. I need to go buy a roller. That's what I need. But NO, every darn bike shop is closed on Monday's. What's up with that? I had bought one way back in December but it broke and then I couldn't find one that I liked. So now I'm stuck at the gym. Maybe instead of the gym, I'll do a 45 min run and resistance training. AHHH.. Working out, having a goal with kids sucks. So hard.
Now to my dad. We sit today, 12 days until his 62nd birthday and I wonder if he'll make it. If you look at the list of "dying signs" he has 4 of them now. What does that mean? Are the brain mets (metastasize of cancer to the brain from the Kidney) just huge now? And that's what is slowing him down to the point of nothing'ness or is it the end? Is his confusion of people and places just a progression of the disease or is it the end? 3 weeks ago, dad didn't think he'd make it until his 62nd birthday. I thought he would. Now I'm not sure. Granted no one is really ever truely sure. But I wonder how powerful is the human mind? There are so many stories about a person saying that they will not make it until this day, and they die that day. So I wonder. I wait and I hope. Hope for what? I'm not sure. Hope for him to make it until his birthday? Hope for the end? Hope for a new normal? So I hope.
19 hours ago