I first heard my dad yelling at my mom for not understanding what he was saying (he knew what he was saying, we just didn't) then I heard him say "please, Margaret, I don't want to die in the hospice" then I heard him tell me "that it was going to be ok and not to worry", then I saw the bright blue veins that say he's almost dead, I heard myself say 'I'll see you in 60 years', then I saw him dead. Lying in the hospice room dead. DEAD. And finally because those others weren't terrifying enough, I saw the funeral home people come to the hospice and put dad in the black body bag (I had forgotten about that little piece)
When am I going to be able to remember my dad as the guy that
I can't handle the black body bag vision. I want my dad back.
